As children, we were taught many things. Much of what we learned was extremely relevant to our lives at that moment. Learning to walk, talk, count, and spell were all extremely relevant. Then came the many things that didn’t seem as relevant by contrast. Things like algebra and chemistry, as examples. Later these and other subjects did become more relevant for many of us. We saw their usefulness when we needed them, and we were happy to have learned them. If we learned them well, the subject is accessible when required.
Staying tuned-in when learning things that might not seem relevant at the time required a unique kind of discipline. Discipline to stay engaged and trust that what we are learning will eventually become useful.
Relationships are That Kind of Learning
Every relationship no matter what provides life lessons for those who are in them. These lessons might not seem relevant at the time but will influence the future of how we interact with people - the extremes being open and trusting or closed and fearful.
It is a fact that most of our intimate relationships will not last a lifetime. This might be disheartening, but even those that do last were preceded by the ones that didn’t. And the ones that didn’t are where precious teachings reside.
It is these that allow the open-minded to determine what works, what doesn’t, and what one will tolerate - both from oneself and from a partner. These insights can give us a tremendous amount of confidence as we continue down the relationship path.
There are no failed relationships or failed marriages. They are all perfect for the student who is open to the lessons presented. It’s only because we are born into a paradigm that suggests a lifetime together is the goal, that we can be blinded from the wise counsel of these disconnected unions.
If relationships are not allowed to run their course, the training can be lost. Taking the time to look though, we can learn about ourselves and humanity.
I always pondered this question - what are my relationship lessons? How do I uncover the diamonds that can serve me as I continue to love? It is this inquiry that helped lead to writing my book, Love Sparks, The Power of a Relationship on Fire (to be released by the end of 2020).
What about you?
What relationship lessons are serving you today? When a relationship runs its course, if we view it as a lesson, then we can dismantle it with as much love and compassion as was used to build it. It isn't a destruction of something, but rather remodeling something. The new experience of the relationship is one of ‘teacher’ and we can develop a different love for it, even if at a distance.
Not all relationships are meant to last, but all are intended to teach.
Love, Honor, and RespectThomas