20 DATES OUTLINED
DATE ONE; the theme is to sweat together
Take advantage of the panoramic beauty that nature has to offer on a romantic afternoon hike with your partner. Best of all, you don't have to spend a lot of money for this ideal outdoor date. The United States is home to a multitude of national parks that are full of beautiful hiking trails. However, you don't have to travel to a national park to enjoy an afternoon of hiking; many cities and towns offer trails that you can use for a romantic getaway. Including HISTORIC CITY WALKS.
~Lake or pond walk (add a skinny dip)
~Ocean beach walk
Great neighborhoods in CA
Research restaurants in the area: After the hike, if you research a few local eateries in advance, you will already be prepared to make a smooth transition from your hike to sharing drinks or lunch. Carry a picnic instead of going out is a nice alternative, especially if you generally eat out anyway.
Be romantic: If it's your 3rd date or 30th date, you may want a special something for your hiking buddy. Maybe it's a pressed flower in your hiking backpack (don't pick the wildflowers) or a small gift that means something to the both of you. No matter what the romantic gesture is, your date will greatly appreciate the thought, planning, and gesture.
• When have you felt the most loved by me?
• What fears do you wrestle with the most? How do you manage them?
DATE TWO; the theme is to be ridiculous together
BOWLING or SKATING
Nothing says bowling fun quite like a loud bowling shirt. You don’t have to buy expensive league-style or designer shirts, either. Your bowling date night shirts might be matching T-shirts you paint or stencil with iron-on transfers. You can find great old bowling shirts in thrift stores and on eBay, too. Get creative and have fun with it—that’s the whole point. If you choose to skate, same idea. You can also have a lot of fun with crazy socks on bowling/skating date night. The apparel really is half the battle in setting the proper mood for fun at the bowling center. Make FOOD fun, I’m not an advocate of junk food but eat someplace/something you consider fun food. (Sushi is fun for me).
Now, on date night a little competition is fine as long as it’s romantic competition.
A strike may be worth a kiss
A spare is worth a hug, etc. Let your imagination run free here and keep it fun.
Perhaps the winner gets to pick where you go for the next fancy dinner date or where you go for gelato later that night, or enjoy a local coffee shop. Before the game, each of you write down your guess of what your score will be (This keeps it fair in case one is a better bowler.) On the back of your score card, each of you will write what you will give the other as a reward for winning. Then, put the card somewhere safe (where neither of you can change your guesses). After the game, write down your actual score and figure the difference. Whoever wins gets to claim their prize (written on the back of the other's score card).
Assign a romantic value to each strike and spare. If you are skating, assign a romantic value to doing a spin, skating backwards OR making it around the rink without falling down. You could make each strike worth a kiss to be redeemed right then. Each spare could be worth a hug. Make sure you keep score! If either of you are good, this could be a very PDA-filled game of bowling...but WHO CARES! Adjust for skating. Empty a small bag of Skittles or M&Ms into a cup or bowl. Assign different styles of bowling to the different candy colors and then have each person pick a piece of candy at the start of their turn to determine how they will bowl that round. (idea submitted by Ethan Estrada)
Examples for different styles include:
"Granny Style" (holding the ball with both hands)
Bowling backwards between your legs
Placing the ball on the ground and pushing it with your foot (don't kick it...)
Bowling with your opposite hand
Using a children's ball guide if available (not to be confused with alley bumpers)
Having your turn bowled by your spouse
Instead of entering your actual names for scoring, make up cute/silly/dorky nicknames for each other. Don't forget to enjoy a snack and hit the arcade for a game or two before heading home!
Not up to going to the alley, play online:
Roller Skating rinks: http://www.rinktime.com/roller-skating-rinks/state/ca/california-roller-skating-rinks
Ice Skating rinks: http://www.norcalyouthhockey.com/Rinks.html
If you could have one super power, what would it be?
What would you say your biggest strength is? And mine?
DATE THREE; the theme is to cheer together
Play Ball! Attend a Minor League Baseball Game
Go out and support your local team with a couple tickets to a Minor League Baseball game for date night! One person gets the tickets, the other the popcorn and drinks and you’ve got yourself a date night that could potentially cost less than the movies! If you have family or friends with kids that play, find out their games and surprise them by showing up with your support. (Soccer, football, basketball etc, any sporting event)
Not into it? Find a local BINGO game.
California Teams (don’t forget schools, churches and community centers)
High Desert Mavericks
Inland Empire 66ers
Lake Elsinore Storm
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Sacramento River Cats
San Jose Giants
After the game: Draw a bubble bath or hot tub, either together or alone. OR go to a hot tub room rental
If you could possess any extraordinary talent in one of the arts, what would you choose?
If you could bring any former leader from the past back to run our country today, who would it be?
DATE FOUR; the theme is to be outstanding together
ART GALLERY/MUSEUM DATE links:
MUSEUMS in CA and ART MUSEUMS and GALLERIES
Dress to the hilts, and look really good. Groom your partner. Ask to brush their hair, shave your man's face.
Usually, when you go to a museum the main point is to see the art. For dates though, the actual museum becomes secondary to, well, the date. Basically, you’re going to spend time with your beloved building more intimacy (in-to-me-see), and the museum will provide a backdrop and facilitate this process. So don’t get too hung up on the art itself. A smaller museum gives you a chance to see the whole collection without feeling overwhelmed, and you can walk through at a nice pace without feeling rushed to make it to everything. Another advantage to smaller, quirkier museums is that there’s a higher probability that you or your date won’t have been there before–and it’s much more fun when the experience is new to both of you.
A short visit or a couple of hours, even choose a few and make it a tour.
If you’re one of those people who loves to impress, use this little trick:
Most museums have highlights from their collection online. Pick one piece, and read the website information that you might have something special to focus on.
• What are the five things you are most thankful for in your life right now? What are some of the things you do to show this thankfulness?
• Whose marriage do you most consider to be a model marriage? What is it about their marriage that you most admire?
DATE FIVE; the theme is to get creative and inspired together.
BOOKSTORE then head to the movies
This is a fun date. Take your other half to the bookstore, grab your favorite drink/coffee, and set up the visit.
1. Split up and one goes through the TRAVEL SECTION and finds books/pictures of some cool places to visit either locally or another country. The other seeks and finds jokes, anything humorous. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages, including sign language by hunting down the language dictionaries. After 20 minutes meet back at your table and discuss what you find and try saying the sweet nothings in the foreign language you chose.
2. After a little lunch and conversation (use what you find at the bookstore as conversation starters), head to the movies.
DATE SIX; the theme is to get pampered together
Make this one overnight if you can. Take off to someplace interesting, stay at a bed and breakfast and then head to the spa. Yes this is for everybody, my guys and my butch ladies. Pedicures, manicures, facials and massage together. Couples style. If an overnight isn’t in the cards then make it a drive.
While your lifemate is out. Put a bag of Hershey hugs on the doorknob. Put rose peddles mixed with Hershey kisses on the floor leading to the bathroom with lights off. Candles for your light lined up all the way to the bathroom also. Two dozen roses lined all over the bathtub. With a card in plain view. And on the card write " Now that I have hugged u before u walked in the door, kissed the ground that you walk on, and showered you with roses. Will you be mine 4-ever."
If you didn’t have to worry about making a living, what would you most like to do for the rest of your life?
If you could live in any other time period, past or future, what period would you choose? Why?
DATE SEVEN; the theme is being “present” together and appreciate “stuff”.
Spend the day at a STREET FAIR or head to a quaint SHOPPING TOWN like Old Sacramento, Los Gatos, 3rd street promenade etc…, hit a bunch of thrift shops or garage sales.
You can do all three!!
Take a latex balloon (not inflated) and fill it with some confetti, a love note to your lifemate and a photo of yourself. Take the balloon to a balloon shop and have them fill it with helium while the items are still in the balloon.
Attach a pin and a note that says; "Please pop" to the balloon string. Leave the balloon by your lifemate's bedside before they wake up in the morning.
What would you most like people to remember you for after you die?
What can we do as a couple to change the world in which we live?
DATE EIGHT; the theme is to work on something together
Start off the date by putting together a scrapbook, or going through and organizing photos. A good topic is your first year memories.
Most of us have random photos that we think “one day” we’ll put them in an organized album or thumb drive. Today is the day. Then…
Take him/her out to the playground on the swings and swing together as if you were both in your teen years. From there go to a COOKING CLASS or a make your own RESTAURANT (Pizza place).
Cook your own restaurants
When you get back home, put in some evening rituals:
arm in arm check out the moon, cuddle on the sofa, make love anywhere/everywhere in the house Got kids, rent a room.
DATE NINE; The theme is to laugh together
Go to a COMEDY CLUB or sing KARAOKE.
Color a picture for your partner. Draw your own little bubble captions that say little sweet nothings. Sign it and leave it someplace where it will be found while you are away.
Keep all of your DATE DAY rituals in place, (no underwear, steal kisses and sneak a few pats on the butt), it might be a later night than usual so you might want to work backwards. Get the romance started early, before you go out.
Put love notes in your lifemate's pockets when they aren't looking so they can find them while you are out.
What’s some of the dumbest things you’ve ever done in your life?
Do you remember the last BIG laugh we had together? What was it? When was it?
DATE TEN; The theme is to make a difference together
Start off by completing a gratitude list of at least 10 each. It will answer the question, “what am I grateful for NOW”. Write a love letter: http://1001loveletters.com/Cartas.aspx?Id=428
Engage in conversation stemming from the lists.
The ultimate accomplishment will be getting to I love you for no reason and I am grateful for no reason.
DATE ELEVEN: The theme is exploration.
11. Do a historic tour
Take advantage of everything your home town has to offer or take a drive someplace else and make it exciting. This can be a great overnight date too.
Do this one as cheesy as you can; using tour companies, on land and water. Perhaps a walking tour. Not a lot of rules for this date. Take lots of selfies and post lots of pictures. Buy each other souvenirs.
Libraries generally have pamphlets outlining local attractions, including calendars with festivals or special town events.
Check city websites for monthly activities.
Call local establishments, like small farms or manufacturers, to see if they do free tours.
Think like a tourist. Consider where you would take someone visiting your city for the first time.
Keep distances and public transportation options in mind.
Make your last stop exciting to keep feet motivated — a sports game, special treat or old family favorite will be great incentives to keep walking.
Keep the afternoon entertaining
A scavenger hunt is a fantastic way to keep the walking tour interesting. Scavenger hunts don't have to be complicated. In fact, developing a simple set of objects can work in your favor. When you do leave your home town for a vacation destination, repeat the scavenger hunt in your new locale. Compare the new finds to the ones from your town and collect objects from new places you visit. Snap photos of the objects that can't be taken with you.
A sample scavenger hunt can include:
a found coin
someone wearing a red hat
a business card
a street sign that starts with your first initial
a piece of art you love
a shirt with the name of a local college
Milkshakes or lattes, a fun filled day.
Use your conversation starters.
One thing I really enjoy doing with you is _______________. What is one thing you really enjoy doing with me?
If you could witness one historical event what would it be?
DATE TWELVE:: The theme is being playful and fun together
12. Dave and Busters or Paint Ball
Eat, drink and play. An adult arcade; an adult playground on both counts. But don’t overdo it with the food and drink, because before you head out put something in the crock pot and have the table set. Put out a nice table set - even if it's grandma's china. This is a date.
This date “might” involve some adjustments depending on your ages and health. Paint ball certainly isn’t for everyone, while Dave and Buster’s certainly can be. There’s something there for most everybody. If both are completely out for your couple then make tonight GAME night and play something together. Backgammon, chess, twister, Yahtzee…
Don’t weasel out, get creative and have this date REALLY work. http://www.daveandbusters.com/default.aspx
You will need to google search for your area…
After a few hours of playtime, head back to your kitchen and get everything you need to…
Hang out just like you would if you were guests. Serve each other a beverage and get comfortable while you put together the meal. Chop up salad and play during the process. Make it sensual - maybe pass a grape to them while you are kissing or rub your lips with orange zest and kiss.
After dinner go for a walk if weather permits or have a night cap sitting in your favorite spot outside or in your living room.
For other simple, tasty and easy recipes check out recipes.com or Cookinglight.com .
Pick something that is in your comfort zone. It is more about the presentation and ambiance than the complexity of the meal.
What is your first memory of me?
What is the very best time we’ve had as a couple?
Date Thirteen: The theme is to stimulate adrenaline together.
13. Test drive your dream cars (partner’s dream), either on a sales lot or renting. If you rent, take the car on the coast. Follow up with gardening together…
Go to the local pottery store and buy a few pots and pick out some plants. Buy something that would be fun to watch bloom. After the labor is done enjoy the fruits of your labor with a fresh glass of lemonade or tea and fantasize about the perfect garden - what would it look like. Make the landscape description as vivid as possible.
Shower, shower, shower (and hot tub if you have that option)
How can I encourage you more?
What is one thing we can do today, that will make us better tomorrow?
Datee Fourteen: The theme is to be sweethearts together.
14. Spend the day at an amusement park, a fair or a circus, followed by a sunset picnic. Picnic on the beach, in a park or on the lake. Plant secret love notes for your partner to find. If you can get to your picnic spot early and without your lifemate knowing wrap a package and bury it at your picnic spot. This date is easy, so I therefore expect you to bring lots of character and creativity to this date.
Then stop off for some dancing. Salsa, nightclub, even square or line dancing. It doesn’t have to be a full night. My partner and I will sometimes stop by one of our favorite dance spots, dance one or two and head home. Step out or watch others, but be there and add your own flavor to the night.
Chances are you’ve eaten about all you might want during the day but if not, a light dinner and conversation might be in order.
When do you feel most loved?
Which strengths in your life bring you the greatest satisfaction?
What is the best way for me to encourage you?
Date Fifteen: The theme is to bring imagination, innovation and vision to your relationship.
15. Create a vision board, Collage Together or make a couple’s bucket list - that's right - bust out the old magazines, turn up the music, and start putting together a picture of all the things you have and WANT. Be creative and after two hours – it’s time to discuss.
What’s a Bucket List?
If you haven’t heard about the term “bucket list”, it is a list of all the goals you want to achieve, dreams you want to fulfill and life experiences you desire to experience before you die.
Why Create a Bucket List?
If you don’t live your days by personal goals and plans, chances are you spend most of your time caught up in a flurry of day-to-day activities. Ever feel your days are passing you by without any tangible output to speak of? What did you accomplish in the past 3 months? What are your upcoming goals for the next 3 months? Look at the things you did and the things you’re planning to do next – Do they mean anything to you if you are to die today? Having a bucket list reminds you of what’s really important so you can act on them.
BUCKET LIST QUESTIONS
Have a drink or two as you share the stories of what you created, but save your appetite.
Want to take it a step further?
What new FUTURE can you co-create?
Follow this by an “around the world dinner”.
Move from one restaurant to another, apps at one, then salad/soup at another, entrees at the third and then someplace else for desert. A great way to try some new eating places. This one takes some planning. I’m certain you are up for the challenge. (If you want to add some real imagination, spend the rest of the evening pretending to be another couple (one you know, of course, don’t let that couple know, lol).
If you want to add some REAL spark to the date, pre-plan by going to each of the restaurants in advance and leave something special for your beloved at each one. It might be a card, it could be flowers, balloons etc. Get the staff involved in making this evening, one to remember.
What is your earliest memory?
The most scared you have ever been was …
Date Sixteen: The theme is to get in touch with the environment.
16. Go to the zoo (local or take a drive), an aquarium or the planetarium. Lots of selfies and lots of social posts.
There are many elements that, if done correctly, can make your date unforgettably special. And you can always add a lunch or dinner experience as part of the event.
Read these tips for a date at the zoo or aquarium, and have an exceptional time with your date!
1. EDUCATE YOURSELF ON THE ANIMALS
A way to make a date at the zoo/aquarium an enjoyable experience is by learning about the animals beforehand. Everyone loves learning new things and your partner will be thoroughly impressed by your knowledge and facts. Intelligence is an attractive quality, and this is your chances to share with your striking wisdom.
2. TAKE PICTURES
A visit to the zoo/aquarium is a great way to make memories. Instead of being that couple that constantly posts boring selfies to Facebook, take memorable photos in the butterfly house or polar bear exhibit. This exciting day is one you’ll want to remember, so a camera will be a convenient item in your fanny pack. Take pictures of each other, and ask a bystander to take one of the two of you together. Any of these pictures framed will be a great birthday party in the future.
3. INCORPORATE HUMOR
There are many fun ways to flirt at the zoo/aquarium. Impersonate the animals, and try to read their minds. Laugh at the animals that act unusually. Compare yourself and your partner to each animal, and wonder who’s most similar to which one.
4. BUY SOUVENIRS
Every zoo/aquarium has a souvenir shop. Buy your partner a small gift to remember the day by! It’ll have sentimental value because it’ll always remind him of the amazing experience you shared. Maybe buy a frame for one of the pictures you took that day! A keychain is another gift that’ll be a constant reminder of you!
Conversation starters: When we fell in love, my favorite thing about you back then was …
What do you consider to be your greatest strengths? Your greatest weaknesses?
Date Seventeen: The theme is to get mushy together.
17. Write each other a love letter. Head out to dinner and exchange letters over dinner. Following the “lovely” dinner, head to the theatre, live show/play/musical.
Why Writing Love Notes Is So Hard
In part, the reason writing love notes is so difficult is that the primitive, emotional part of our brains — the part that experiences love (the emotional body) — is far removed, both in distance and in evolutionary development, from the much more recently developed rational, logical, language-producing part of our brain.
Another reason why writing love notes is hard is that love is best expressed in person, through things like an affectionate touch, an act of service or a subtle smile and glimmer in the eye. People fell in love long before writing was developed, so the very notion of a "love note" is an interesting paradox, an incongruous coupling of an ancient emotion with a brief statement printed on parchment.
Besides, each person has such unique and personal reasons for loving another person, it's difficult to find examples that you can use. If you've ever had the experience of browsing through dozens of greeting cards, looking for just the right message, then you know just how daunting the task can seem.
How To Write Love Notes
1. Be specific. Pay attention to your everyday interactions, keeping at the forefront of your mind this question: What does she or he do that I like, that I admire, or that makes me feel good? When you notice something, write it down. Don't attempt to capture the entirety of your love in one note.
2. Think about what the person does. I found as I wrote my love notes that they could be classified into two general categories: things my spouse does, and things my spouse is.
3. Think who the person is. Often, what the person does can be used to make a statement about the kind of person she or he is. These statements would include the words "you are."
Fun Ways To Deliver Your Love Notes
Like a good meal, in which presentation is just about as important as the taste of the food, how you deliver your love notes is almost as important as the message. Here are a couple ways I've delivered love notes to my spouse.
Love pills. Go to any drug store and ask for an empty pill bottle. I've done this twice and was never denied this request. While there, purchase some empty soft gelatin capsules. Write out your love notes in small print on a piece of paper, then cut the strip of paper with the note on it, roll it up, and put them in the soft gelatin capsule. I did this for my partner before I left on a trip to keep him from getting "love sick," with instructions to take one per day.
Heart attack. Write your love notes on paper hearts. You can buy heart-shaped sticky notes, or you can cut the hearts out of paper. Then stick the notes all around the house (or yard, school, or wherever). You can hide some of them so that the subject of your attack will have to look a little to find them. Looking for the notes just adds to the fun, and a note that surfaces a day or two later is a pleasant surprise.
Conversation starters- What can we do as a couple to make a change in the world?
2. Do you think our marriage makes our kids, or other couples desire to be married?
Date Eighteen: The theme is to
18. Call in Sick and play hooky together
Play hooky (verb): Skipping school, missing classes, taking as extended lunch, skipping out of work for the day/afternoon just to have fun.
Adult hooky is planning a day off. Use the PTO you have available and be responsible about it. If that’s unavailable then screw it, call in sick coughing like an eighth grader.
Playing hooky is good for the soul. It's important to duck out every once in a while and take a "sick day." A day just for the two of you to do anything you want or nothing at all. A day to unwind, to recharge, to relax, to be 100 percent joyful without any obligations. I am suggesting you really take the day off.
Research. You must find what makes you feel good.
Plan. Or don't plan
Do things that do not feel like work
Whether it's staying in bed all day because you need to catch up on sleep or laying on the sofa and eating salt 'n' vinegar chips while watching trashy TV…
There are no rules. Just do it like a pro. Commit to yourself and to having a good time and taking a day off just for you. There is no right or wrong when playing hooky.
Pretend you are back at school and pulling a Ferris Bueller. He would never have updated his Facebook status saying, "I am at the Mets game." He was pretending to be sick, and he did it like a pro. If you don't get this reference, you must stop what you are doing and rent Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Watch it on your next hooky day.
Eat ice cream. Or Rice Dream. Do headstands. Walk barefoot. Watch old movies. Don't answer the phone. Go hiking without a plan. Go visit a dog shelter, and walk the dogs. Watch the sun set. Drink a margarita. Or two. Get a pedicure. Do karaoke. Cook. Order take-out. Volunteer at the homeless shelter. Play with a frisbee. Sit under a tree. Get lost in a bookstore. Whatever it is, do things that do not feel heavy. Do things that are not chores or work. Do not respond to work emails or stalk someone on Facebook or scrub the toilet…
When making decisions, do you put more trust in facts or in feelings? Are you pleased with most of your decisions?
What is one of the most adventurous things you’ve ever done?
Date Nineteen: The theme is to
What is your favorite childhood memory?
What is your favorite…food, color, book, bible verse, hobby, song, movie, sitcom, season, etc.? (that I don’t already know about??)
Date Twenty: The theme is to
1. What is the most important lesson you learned from your parents?
2. Do you prefer “this or that”…for example: read or write, run or bike, camp or cruise, etc.