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21st Century Couples: The Balancing of Yin and Yang

Women are the fabric of business and leadership in the 21st century. They are called alfa-females, strong women, and female leaders. What do these distinctions say about our relationship to women? Does the nature of this language expose the underlying constitution of how we, as a society think? Is it implying that women are trying to be more like men? And, if that is the case, are men threatened?

Over centuries and in many civilizations, women have been repressed by male domination projected as leadership. They were given a place, and with enforcement, they were kept in their place. Women fought, and they suffered varying degrees of punishment as a result.

Women are now collectively and individually expressing their power. Entering the 21st century they have united on all fronts with society listening and responding. For the first time in U.S. history, there is more equality for women than ever before.

Is there possibly a struggle between lovers rising to the surface? In our intimate relationships, might there be a cost, at least for some, with women taking their rightful place in leadership today? There very well might be, and it is bringing to question - could it be written in our DNA as to how we relate, male and female?

Men and women throughout the ages have been identified by their bodies, their anatomies. With that, the differences are obvious, men are built more angular, stronger, bigger, and broader while women are curvature, are more delicate, and softer.

But masculine and feminine energies are sexless. Being great leaders, strong characters, people who make things happen, have nothing to do with one’s anatomy and everything to do with one’s energy. Degamit Nuur, a spiritual teacher, clairvoyant, doctor of acupuncture, writer and lecturer has much to say on this subject of energy. She reminds us that feminine energy is YIN and masculine is YANG. YIN and YANG takes the preconceived notions out of the inquiry and allows us to see how the balance is universally natural and necessary.

Speaking generally, males have more masculine (YANG) energy due to higher levels of testosterone, while females have more feminine (YIN) energy due to higher levels of estrogen. But both sexes have a balance of both and that balance matters.

Distinguishing Energy

Feminine energy (YIN):

This energy is emanated from the SACRAL chakra and is our feeling energy. It processes feeling and emotion. Because feeling provides invaluable information that assists us in living consistent with what matters to us, a balance of YIN energy is crucial.

Feeling is an indication that we are experiencing. The positive expression of this energy processes these experiences and uses them for the greater good of our lifestyle and our relationships.

The negative expression can have us become explosive and fear-driven before we have done the necessary processing. People in this state allow emotions to seep into the environment. It can lead to burning out and rejecting the YANG.

In all considerations, we need a balance of cognitive, feeling, and intuition, the YIN and the YANG. We want both fully functioning as an individual, but especially as a couple.

Masculine energy (YANG):

Cognitive energy emanating from the ROOT chakra. It is prone to thinking, evaluating, and forecasting. The positive expression is focused and able to block out anything that might interfere with being in action; confidence and relaxation are also found within the YANG.

The negative expression, because the YANG can be quick and unfiltered, is a temptation to dismiss feelings, it is in a hurry and does not like to slow down. It decides, acts, and moves on while rejecting the YIN.

Energy reveals and cannot be concealed

What is it to emasculate? We almost always refer to men when using the word, emasculate. One part of the definition reads: to deprive a man of his male role; role being the operative word here. The truer definition reads this way: to weaken, to deprive of creative power, to deprive of courage and confidence. To deny anything or anyone the YANG is emasculating, and therefore, anyone can be emasculated.

Though we are a balance of both YIN and YANG energies, amping up the YANG while at work or on task is useful. At the office, turning on the alpha, the strength, and the power gives an advantage to powerful leadership.

But at home and in our relationships, men and women want to rebalance that energy, transitioning from YANG-dominant to YIN-dominant. Shift from providers to pleasers, from directors to givers. We want to be more attentive like listening better, being aware of feeling, offering acceptance and admiration. We want to be more open to receiving and acknowledging as this is a balancing character essential in every relationship.

To rebalance try setting aside 20 minutes before arriving home, a short simple meditation (try these) is perfect for most. I sometimes will do one in my car while parked in the driveway before going inside. Physical practices like yoga, working out and cardio, are also effective in getting rebalanced.

It seems almost ridiculous to discuss such a topic as women in power, but clearly civilization is in transition making the conversation relevant. Over time the distinctions we currently use for women who lead will disappear, they are, and will be deemed erroneous. Leaders are leaders, male and female, and we are also lovers. Going forward perhaps, what we really need to do is support our partner to their fullest potential, embracing the energies that make up who we are and who we long to be.

Couples who encourage their partner’s power, confidence and courage have the perfect blueprint for being a 21st-century power couple.


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