Be spotless with your word – Say only what you mean and avoid being dishonest. Dont make decisions when your angry and dont make promises when youre happy. Don’t speak against yourself or gossip about your partner, the couple or other people. Talk in a way that shows respect and only speak of others AS though they were present. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Train your partner that you are straight up.
Forgive Easily – Nothing others do is really because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own interpretation. Make it easy for your partner to right their wrongs with you, be eager to forgive. Almost all conflicts are the result of unfulfilled expectations. When you didnt hammer out or get very clear about what’s expected. As well this isn’t to say you should accept any kind of abuse or disrespect. I direct this pilar to a healthy mature adult relationship. — Forgive: Make a conscious decision to cease to harbor resentment.
Be courageous. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in the stories of your life, your interpretations, stuck in your own head is a self centered way to be in a couple and will never gain you satisfaction – Find the courage to ask questions risk seeming foolish, childish or needy and to express what you really want and what you really need. Communicate with your partner as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. Acknowledge the unsaid. discuss the undiscussables, name the elephant in the room and strike issues at the root. I really want to acknowledge my partner regarding this pilar. He has demonstrated this in his actions and his ways of being. Its powerful and gives us a stable foundation for communication. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your relationship.
Build the Trust Bank. Build trusting habits and always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and give up self-judgment, self-abuse and regret, while giving up resentments, judgement and abuse of others. Part of building the heart account is handling your failures in the 4 pillars immediately. Don’t waste a minute. An amazing relationship happens when the couple is up for reinvention, willing to ask the question, what can I do to make your life better with me?
Your couple is a haven from injustice when you are fair and just. The DREAM is necessary for ROMANCE. Confronting reality gives foundation for the dream. You must be powerful in both domains to have an amazing, loving relationship that is long lasting.