This is a magnificent stage for a relationship and lives in the background for the life of the relationship. You cannot have the beauty of this stage without powerfully moving through stage 3. When you are stuck in stage 3 stage 4 cannot come alive. By now you’ve chosen the partner, you’ve chosen the relationship and stages 1-3 are complete in this cycle.
The brain dance is a brain syncing. You start to think alike, the couple has a mind of its own. It does not minimize individuality; on the contrary it thrives on individuality. Thinking alike doesn’t mean always agreeing, it means though honoring your differences of opinion. You are in sync, a harmony of rhythm to the dance. Team players, playmates and during the brain dance we never want one partner against the other. If one partner tries to control the dance, he destroys it, think of it this way, two different views of the same reality adds a level of depth and dimension to that reality and by the same token two different rhythms of the heart add depth and dimension to the brain dance. There are 6-rhythms of the heart adapted from THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES written by Gary Chapman. (See the page RHYTHMS OF THE HEART.)
Learning your partner’s rhythm of the heart is an access to a long lasting experience of love. Teach your partner the rhythm of your heart by learning and playing his/hers.
Most everyone will relate to all rhythms, but ONE will stand out as the ONE that really makes your brain dance. It’s the one you cannot live without. If you aren’t sure right off, ask yourself the question “What do I most complain about not getting enough of?” That will likely be the one. What does your partner complain about not getting enough of? That’s likely theirs. And you can also go down the list and ask yourself, which, can I do without. Yours is the one you can’t do without.
The good news is you don’t have to give any rhythms up; in fact you will want to practice them all in your relationships. But if want a peaceful, fulfilling, satisfying and lasting love you better learn your partners number 1 and give it everything you got. When times get rough it’s how much of the rhythm got played over the years that will help you to powerfully sustain.
The rhythm to the heart brings about the brain dance and the brain dance brings about intimacy.
Intimacy means to be vulnerable; to feel neither superior, nor inferior; to be authentically present.
Deepak Choprah says “when you are truly being intimate, you enter a state of timelessness – an orgasmic, ecstatic state of oneness.”
“To have intimacy, there is an unfoldment of surrender – where you have no desire to manipulate/cajole/seduce the other person.”
IN-TO-ME-SEE. If you lack harmony in the brain dance or you are holding onto resentments or regrets intimacy is LOST.