Here are the two most important things I have my couples do that keeps love alive:
I. Couples Tune Up
WEEKLY then works into BI-WEEKLY, face to face, no phones, no kids, no TV
1. Distinguishes for his wife any REGRETS he may have for the time period.
2. He then distinguishes any RESENTMENTS he may be holding for the time period.
1. Responds to his REGRETS and RESENTMENTS.
2. Distinguishes for her husband any REGRETS she may have for the time period.
3. She then distinguishes any RESENTMENTS she may be holding for the time period.
1. Responds to her REGRETS and RESENTMENTS.
2. Acknowledges and appreciates his wife for something (within the time period).
1. Acknowledges and appreciates her husband for something (within the time period).
REGRET: Feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that I’ve done or said, especially a loss or missed opportunity).
RESENTMENT: Bitter indignation at having been (or feeling) treated unfairly.
Regret and resentment are the source of a loving romantic relationship crumbling. In our culture there is no structure within family dynamics to deal with these powerfully. They are to a relationship what weeds are to a garden. They must be pulled regularly and lovingly.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: The action of expressing or displaying gratitude or appreciation for something.
We all need to be acknowledged and noticed, especially by our beloved.
Date night is a very good guaging opportunity for what’s happening in the relationship.
Date Night Rules:
1. No movies
2. No children or TV
3. No other couples
This is for the couple only. Bonding and talking. Stuff always comes up that one never expected.
Each week is alternated between the two.
If this is my week, then it is my job to creatively organize the date. (Called date night but I have many couples who create afternoons that lead into the night)
I offer this on my website along with over 50 date suggestions that are low cost and have many ways to get creative with them.
These two rituals are incredibly important for a healthy and long lasting couple.
They will almost always hit head on any feelings of something being “off” and will also develop ways of communicating with each other that they could never do otherwise.
Thomas is a leader in the area of transforming relationships and couples. Having written numerous programs and workshops since 1997 his strength is in maintaining high standards of keeping love alive. Thomas is a writer, trainer and coach and has personally worked with more than 10,000 people.