What is a heartbreak?
Consider that a heartbreak shows up within the emotional body as an emotional bruise. An emotional bruise unlike a physical one emits pain that can’t be rubbed or touched, but can only be accessed through mental pictures. The emotional bruise exists between the heart and brain connection. The heart brings feelings and emotion. The brain brings language and signals for pain. One must embrace the grieving process to bring about healing. So, it’s how the person experiences the heartbreak and deals with grieving that determines how it will impact their future relationships.
Here are three examples of how one might respond to heartbreak:
1. Lack of self nurturing.
If nurturing oneself is lacking, authentically nurturing another is impossible. This will greatly impact any future relationship.This person will have a persistent tendency to press on the emotional bruise by using mental pictures, reigniting the pain and likely making a long term or permanent neuron connection. A new partner then will likely step on emotional “land mines” and never quite understand what’s happening. In fact the new relationship might very well be an effort to “prove” something, like “I AM loveable” versus “real love”. This leads to a psychological divorce, staying together for reasons that are not nurturing spiritually or emotionally. Painfully together or a painful apart, an internal conflict.
2. Love addicted
This one can be complicated. We all like the release of hormones stimulated by new romance and love. Most of us long for that release of hormones, but self nurturing people are happy to move through to new spaces of what a maturing relationship provides The addicted interpret this movement or change as a problem and causes a great deal of anxiety for the relationship which leads to heartbreak and sadness.
3. High level self nurturing.
An individual with a high level of self nurturing will heal quickly from heartbreak. Rarely will they intentionally press on their emotional bruise. They instead embrace the grieving process going through it rather than resisting it. This brings empathy and self nurturing to their relationships and contributes to having it long lasting and beautiful.
In summary, experiencing love and heartbreak can be complex and there are many possible scenarios. A high level self nurturer is the ideal. A high self nurturer is more connected to their emotions, feelings and intuition (heart space). They are connected to the heart space and the brain space (logic) and naturally attract and connect with healthier emotions and other self~nurtured individuals. Hence, long lasting and satisfying relationships. As a coach its my goal to work with couples and individuals in developing a high nurturing context for relationships.
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